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Times Square, Apt 5FE, and Flashdancers
I used to dream about clothing. Not so much about a specific item of clothing but rather an outfit. Dreaming is an unattainable luxury that I'm rarely (if almost never) afforded. This indulgent act ceased altogether the moment I moved to Hell's Kitchen.
APT 5FE
I lived across from Flashdancers NYC on 45th Street for nearly two years. Apt 5FE was a railroad-style one bedroom located on the fifth floor. $1000 would hit Alex's bank account monthly, my titi's Colombian boyfriend from Queens. The unit was entirely beige, carpeted, and rent controlled. The building was nearly vacant. The landlords paid off most tenants. A mere $16,000 to relocate. Are you paying any attention to the housing market right now?
FLASHDANCERS
The gentlemen's club-cum-champagne lounge-cum sports bar-cum-general establishment's staff and patrons are outstanding neighbors. Entering the pleasure pagoda with distinction and discretion. Some to undress, others simple voyeurs. Is this leering? There's a $121 grilled octopus on the menu. It comes with wasabi mashed potatoes. I hope that the undressed receive fair and equitable wages, so that they can accumulate enough wealth to pay for a liberal arts education and the acquisition of property, should their heart desire.
SHOW DON'T TELL
Scratchy and severely under-caffeinated articulations and "holas" to Incredible Hulks, Woodies, and Minnies were uttered as I made my way through Times Square during my pilgrimage to MoMA. MoMA, the beacon of culture. The TKTS booth functioned as a quasi-track marking, bittersweetly signaling the following: 1) you're about to get out of this hellscape, 2) let me remind you about musicals.
Musicals really make me cringe. I want to get into them, but I just can't. I like operas and I like plays. There's just something about narration through song that feels off. No one (there are many exceptions, individuals with severe ADHD among them) repeats themselves so much in real life. Why is there a chorus? What about Chekhov? Show don't tell?
Morgan Bassichis sings show don't tell so perfectly in their piece at Bridget Donahue. My ex did the captioning. A credit line and a confirmatory text message. A few casual and friendly exchanges made me feel comfortable enough to propose a coffee. "To catch up," I clarified. They need to check in with their partner. I lived in Hell's Kitchen when we dated. Am I a toxic person?
I successfully suspend my disbelief when engaging with other media. Impotent with musicals. I think it's because I'm allergic to penicillin. Operatic voices distort language. Words and their meanings are rendered unintelligible. Operas are often in German. I don't speak German. That's why I am okay with opera.
What was it about Times Square that made me stop dreaming? Dreaming about outfits specifically? Italian curator Ilaria Bonacossa identified New York City as "the symbol of global capitalism" and Times Square as "the fulcrum of American-style spectacle culture."
BACK TO TIMES SQUARE
The kids are calling Times Square the new Dimes Square. Brands like Juicy Couture and Ed Hardy and True Religion purchased on Depop and Poshmark. Visits to Margaritaville and Krispy Kreme are recorded and storied on Instagram. This is an act of resistance!
Many of you think that what you're doing is camp. I honestly think it's kitsch. There's nothing wrong with kitsch. Camp is just more intellectualized. Everyone wants to be an intellectual. Kitsch tastes like a glazed Krispy Kreme. Shiny to the point that it makes you salivate. Zero nutritional value. Sugar-induced stimming at 190 calories and 99 cents.
Drop a comment below to help me choose my next handbag acquisition: a metallic Balenciaga Twiggy or a Vernis Louis Vuitton Bedford. Mark Fisher speaks so brilliantly about nostalgia. Imagine Mark Fisher wearing Juicy velour.
THE DREAM
Chloé's SS 2006 Jamie sandals made an appearance in my dream last week. Red, yellow, green, and black adorn the strappy leather sandals with a cork base. Wright Keller styled them with drapey tracksuit tops and bottoms. Flouncy and romantic, because the Chloé Girl is a little bohemian, you know? In Nicole Phelps's review of the collection on the now-defunct Style.com, she referred to these athletic pieces as a "rave-girl tracksuit." Rave? I think she meant Dancehall. The hues of the Jamaican flag.
Sweet Sticky
It’s almost summer in New York. Sound installation a few days ago. Willie Colon’s El Dia De Mi Suerte played on four different channels: two car stereos, one speaker strapped to a bicycle, one iPhone, all on Graham Avenue, La Avenida de Puerto Rico. A few years ago, we scoured las bodegas in search of pitorro during our parade pre-festivities.
I’ve already noticed a proliferation of furtive-yet-flirty glances in three boroughs. I was told last winter that I’m not good at making and sustaining prolonged eye contact.
Grateful social interactions are not subject to performance evaluations. Eye rubs more frequent, tear ducts working overtime, still reeling from tax season and environmental allergies. Antihistamines cause brain fog, and depression too. Any excuse to wear my baby pink sparkly Miu Mius will do.
Little do they know that in 2018, I locked eyes with a Hare Krisha in Union Square. Staring contest over. A polite refusal. They had the most beautiful blue eyes. Burlington Coat Factory as a backdrop. What does that place sell for Spring Summer? Hard times as of late, lost my orange Issey, missed Cro-Mags at the hardcore matinee.
Whenever I’m sick, Papi tells me to drink orange juice pero it has to be freshly squeezed, not pasteurized. Bueno pa’todo, las alergias, tan bien makes Singeli sound faster, hues more vibrant, even with the Mius Mius on.
Twombly loved citrus - lemons specifically. Sticky hands after eating that orange slice on East Broadway and misremembering The Godfather. All of New York will be sticky soon.
Geometry, Amniotic Fluid, and Involuntarily Celibate Dance Music
Many of us were rocked and swayed as infants, as an attempt to calm and soothe. Infants are also rocked with the intention of putting an end to incessant crying. Wails and tears are a nuisance. They are noise pollution.
Rhythmic movement is said to stimulate the vestibular and proprioceptive systems, which are not yet fully developed during infancy. Located in the inner ear, the vestibular system collects critical information, like where your head is located, for example. This is linked to your ability to maintain balance. Proprioception, the sixth sense, is mediated by proprioceptors. Mechanosensory neurons located in the muscles, joints, and tendons, send detailed messages to the brain. These messages enable you to sense your own body and its movement through space, i.e. you’re able to compute your existence as a physical being. Stasis stunts the maturation process of these critical systems. Controlled motion enables them to flourish and bloom.
Humans are creatures of nostalgia. We most certainly do not possess sentimental memories during infancy. What about muscle memory?
Amnion encloses the human embryo. An accumulation of protective amniotic fluid expands the membrane into a sac. Liquid surrounds and cushions what is now a fetus. Fetal development is contingent on movement and space. Leboyer calls this “happy buoyancy”. Fetal movements, the first ones, are colloquially referred to as “flutters”.
Listeners to Jega’s 2000 title track Geometry flutter. A chord pattern creates a languid melody. It is mellifluous. The track gushes over you, envelops you. A sudden glitch anchors you into a bag of water. There is something inherently human to this song. But a humanity that precedes socialization. This is not a lullaby. This song is for the inward-looking. It dictates contemplation and extreme introspection. Music for musings. µ-Ziq also makes music for musings.
Geometry belongs to a subgenre of dance music deemed “Intelligent Dance Music.” The term “Intelligent Dance Music” was coined in 1993 on an online message board created by computer-savvy melomaniacs Alan Michael Parry and Brian Behlendorf. The IDM list was an open forum for musical discourse and exchange. A digital space for the expression of feelings and reactions to the formal qualities of a music fundamentally uninterested in the social site and socialization process oh-so often attributed to dance music – the dancefloor and dancing.
In Parry’s words:
“IDM (Intelligent Dance Music) is a forum for the discussion of what has been termed "intelligent" music - that is music that moves the mind, not just the body. There is no specific definition of intelligence in music, however, artists that I see as appropriate are FSOL, Orb, Orbital, Richard James (aka Aphex Twin), Blackdog, B12, and various others from Warps artificial intelligence series. Of course, the list is open to all interpretations of intelligent dance music.”
IDM is music for geeks. It is music for the sad. It is not readily accessible. It is for the discerning ear. Yes, the IDM list was an open forum. Open in the sense that you needed to know of its existence. Open if IDM titillated you. Open if you had access to a computer and knew how to use it. You can’t really dance IDM. It is a domestic music, best enjoyed alone. Not that these people would have someone to dance with. They did have raves though. Many were hybrid in format. In-person and online. Real parties in tandem with virtual ones. A computer connecting a large network of faceless individuals. Usernames, made up of a combination of letters and numbers, transplanted and broadcast on the dancefloor.
In person attendees need not to “really” dance. No sudden or brash movements. No jerking. You can close your eyes and nod your head. You are happily buoyant in a pod of your own making.
Dancefloors become quasi-data centers. The United States has the most data centers in the world. The U.K. has the second-most. They call them data “centres.” The IDM List was made in the USA. Intelligent Dance Music was created in the UK. There is an amazing Simon Reynolds quote that I would like to invoke. It is buried in my 72 tabs.
The use of the word intelligent in Intelligent Dance Music is presumptuous and suggestive of a superiority complex. In a post dated from August 1st 1993, username bsanders put forth the question: “Can Dumb People Enjoy IDM, Too?”
I am prescribing an overbearing sense of loneliness to this music (which is nearly impossible to categorize) and its devotees. Why do I want to make a rapprochement between IDM listeners and incels?
Both incels and IDM listeners must have avoidant attachment styles. They enjoy wearing hoodies in muted colors and baggy jeans or cargo pants. Greasy hair. Maybe a pair of wire-framed glasses. Ghostly. Brooding misanthropes. A bit socially awkward. Most certainly introverted. Apparently Aphex Twin is an agoraphobe. Most IDM list subscribers are happily married men with children.
The scene is and remains predominantly white, straight, and male. They found solace not through romantic relationships or maternal affection. Instead, they found it in computers and music. Music made by mostly men with music machines. Communicating with one another through online messaging boards. Geeking out on geeky music. Learning about really complicated music machines. There is a universalist quality to IDM despite its means of production and pompous name. The word enlightenment is often invoked. IDM speaks to the human condition.
Someone once told me – I think it was Sofía– that Tarkovsky didn’t believe women to be capable of interiority: “A woman does not have her own inner world.” – Andrei Tarkovsky.
Mira Calix said that the list wasn’t particularly macho as much as it was geeky. I have never seen anyone grind to Intelligent Dance Music. Involuntarily Celibate Dance Music.
Did you know that a woman named Alana first abbreviated the term involuntary celibate to incel? She established the first incel forum in 1997. Its intentions are at times described as “feminist.” Clerical celibacy was imposed in the 12th century. You must be celibate if you are to hear and receive his word. Inceldom and the IDM list are not exactly contemporaneous.